151 Things to Keep Away from "Progressive" Liberals

     Not long ago I came across a comment in a comments section which intrigued the daylights out of me. The comment, or hardened nugget of trenchant social commentary, was by a person calling himself SaveOurNation; and it was a list of somewhat more than 40 things which should be kept away from “liberals.” I was deeply moved to copy the thing and add to it extensively. Most of the first forty or so, including the priceless “sequined cowboy hats,” are from SON, a True Son of Liberty. The rest are from yours truly. I could have kept it up, the juices were really flowing, but I suppose one has to stop somewhere, so I contented myself with beefing the list up to a nice round 151. But feel free to add more, till you just can’t add no more.

Things to keep away from “progressive” liberals:

1. Unborn babies

2. Alcohol

3. Firearms

4. Women

5. Positions of power

6. Voters

7. Live microphones

8. Sean Hannity

9. Voting booths

10. Email accounts

11. Hammers

12. Children, and our children's children

13. Slush funds

14. Foundations, NGOs, and similar smoke-filled rooms

15. Uranium (yellow cake)

16. Russians (yes, this includes Black Russians)

17. Eastern Europeans in general

18. Tarmacs

19. Cigars

20. Sequined cowboy hats

21. Tax revenue

22. The educational system

23. The judicial system

24. Local city councils

25. Interns

26. University campuses

27. Bleach-bit, cloths, and other computer cleaners

28. The Oval Office

29. Vagina costumes

30. Illegal aliens

31. The military

32. Other people's money

33. FISA courts

34. James Brown wigs

35. Kim Jong Un pant suits

36. Baseball fields (for that matter, sports venues in general)

37. Individuality

38. Situations requiring the making of decisions

39. Old Glory

40. The flag of the Soviet Union (Old Gory)

41. Bike locks

42. Pallets of various untraceable currencies

43. The United States Constitution

44. Twitter accounts

45. News feeds

46. Coffee without warning labels

47. Polar bears

48. Rap “music”

49. Hair dye (various rainbow colors)

50. Black hoodies

51. Bottles of urine

52. The Bible

53. The Quran

54. Facts about Islam

55. History

56. Dark-skinned conservatives

57. Dead voters

58. Science journals

59. Aging porn stars

60. Bullhorns/megaphones (especially indoors)

61. Statues and other memorials of famous historical figures

62. Classic literature (especially Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, and anything by that patriarchal bigot Shakespeare)

63. Empirical reality

64. Standup comedy venues

65. Memes (not just Pepe)

66. Plain speech

67. Lists of all that President Trump has accomplished thus far

68. Classified information

69. Unnamed sources

70. Ghost writers

71. Publishers

72. Jordan Peterson interviews

73. IQ tests

74. Facts about Africa

75. Anything written by Dr. Seuss

76. Kimonos, sombreros, and dreadlocks (especially all at the same time)

77. Gay men who express the desire not to be flung from a rooftop by Muslims

78. Milk, and any claims to being lactose tolerant

79. Tide pods (with or without a bleach chaser)

80. Video games

81. Historical facts about socialism

82. Shop windows

83. Parked cars

84. Human evolutionary biology

85. Pronouns

86. Computer algorithms

87. Public restrooms

88. Dossiers

89. Leaky memos

90. “Insurance policies”

91. Masculinity

92. Disney princesses

93. Primordial gender stereotypes

94. Surfaces (like white pants, canvas, or statuary) which may be smeared with menstrual blood

95. Migrant caravans

96. Traditional morality

97. Venezuelan zoo animals (if there are any left)

98. Culturally insensitive Halloween costumes

99. Patriotism

100. MAGA hats

101. Anything resembling an apology

102. Anything hard, pointy, or otherwise potentially dangerous (like knives, moving vans, battery acid…)

103. Churches and other places of worship

104. The Vatican

105. Soy products (it just makes them worse)

106. Modest, decent conservative females

107. Unsolicited plastic straws 

108. Trump rallies

109. Western cultural heritage

110. The European race

111. Anything that was politically correct more than 20 years ago

112. Awards ceremonies

113. Casting couches

114. Human nature

115. Blue pills (500mg, time-released, extra strength)

116. Museums (of art, natural history, cultural anthropology, whatever)

117. Law enforcement agencies

118. Jumpy Somalian police officers

119. Journalism

120. The vocabulary of the English language

121. The humanities (definitely including Art)

122. Good news about Korea

123. Bad news about the EU, South Africa, or Venezuela

124. Independent thought

125. Baseball bats

126. Bacon

127. Swedish crime statistics

128. Logic

129. Honor

130. Strapons

131. People who used to be neo-Marxists, but were subsequently red-pilled

132. Advertisements displaying physically fit, attractive women

133. Japan

134. The UN

135. International regulatory commissions

136. Free handouts

137. The Great Barrier Reef

138. Secure borders

139. Melania Trump’s shoes

140. Anything remotely resembling a swastika

141. Philosophy (ethics, metaphysics, aesthetics, political philosophy, everything)

142. Blue fingernail polish

143. Muslim slaves

144. Darwinism

145. Humor

146. Carbon

147. The NFL

148. International trade agreements

149. Clint Eastwood

150. Severed heads

151. The future



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