The Trouble with Traditional Disney Princesses

     This is a primordial Disney princess:

     Remember her? Here’s another one:

     They’re very sweet, aren’t they? They’re so beautiful and modest and innocent and pure (you can tell that Snow White in particular is a virgin because of all the wild animals swarming around her; anyone who has read the Epic of Gilgamesh can tell you that once she starts getting her freak on the animals won’t trust her anymore and will run away). They’re paragons of goodness; they’re practically perfect young women, ideal archetypes of maiden femininity, aren’t they? Hell no they aren’t! These hateful quislings to the Patriarchy perpetuate oppressive gender stereotypes. They’re practically fucking Nazis from a social justice point of view.

     Consequently, a Planned Parenthood organization in the state of Pennsylvania posted a tweet a few months ago suggesting remedies to the repulsive disease of virtuous, virginal, traditional Disney princesses:

The person, I’m guessing female, might as well have added, “We need a disney princess who’s obese, with thick, pungent tufts of armpit hair.

     If I remember correctly, shortly after this tweet was posted a spokesperson for Disney made an eminently sane observation to the effect that no woman has ever been empowered by having an abortion. It may also be the case, for all I know, that no woman has ever been empowered by having a dick (although some “female” athletes who used to have a dick are abnormally powerful).

     The Planned Parenthood tweet (and mind you PP is a manifestly leftist and politically correct organization) was apparently a symptom of a recent trend in that organization of teaching small children about the wonders of transsexuality, homosexuality, and sexuality in general—although I am unsure of how this actually helps anyone to plan being a parent.

     Anyway, the tweet inspired a kind of countersuggestion from a right-wing group, possibly affiliated with the NRA:

     Although it endorses a princess owning an assault rifle, thereby affirming her Right to Bear Arms in accordance with the 2nd Amendment of the US Constitution’s  Bill of Rights, in some ways it might be acceptable to the social justice left—at least she’s an empowered badass of a princess, not enslaved to traditional gender roles, and not some passive little vanilla-flavored virgin saint who depends on a (male, patriarchal) prince to save her pink, dimpled, and always modestly covered behind. There is definitely a precedent for tough, beautiful babes running around kicking almighty ass in Hollywood action movies, so why not in Disney cartoons also? It’s true that the princess (apparently Rapunzel in the illustration) wouldn’t be quite so pure if she splatters heads and gore, but they would in all likelihood be the heads and gore of malevolent trolls or some such. Maybe an evil witch or two would catch some hot lead, but in a way the girl could still be a respectable role model for small children.

     But what the social justice set has in mind for our princesses is apparently something more along the lines of this:

     Here we have Disney princesses (Elsa and Anna from the movie Frozen) who are clearly leftists, trans, and open to pansexual incest—and thus practically the ideal role models for the PC Brave New World. If there’s anything politically incorrect with these specimens it’s that at least one of the sisters isn’t black. It may be that in a subsequent scene of such a Disney cartoon Anna (the femme one) will choose to assert her dignity and her autonomy over her own body by having the animated abortion requested by Planned Parenthood. Maybe they could even work in a song at that point.

     But somehow it seems to me that, although Disney princesses might become a bit less conservative than Snow White wishing musically, beautifully, and demurely for her prince to come, keeping up with the times to some degree (a sane degree), something like this is good enough:

     In other words, let them stay virginal, if only through being asexually virginal as characters in a cartoon suitable for small children. Let them be virtuous and modest and innocent and beautiful—let them be strong and brave too, with no problem there at all. In other words, may the social justice people who consider sexual depravity to be fine for children as well as everyone else just leave Disney princesses the fuck alone. Maybe they should leave the small children alone too, at least until they are mature enough to deal with and resist depravity.

Appendix: Some More Progressive Disney Princesses

We need a disney princess who’s got a tattoo [it’s an apple]

We need a disney princess who’s unmarried, sexually promiscuous, and pregnant, and will assert her dignity and empowerment over her own body by having an abortion as a means of birth control just days before the baby is due (with the baby parts sold to a lab for medical experimentation)

We need a disney princess who’s lesbian

We need a disney princess who’s into group sex

We need a disney princess who’s lesbian AND into group sex at the same time [notice Tinkerbell in the center foreground]

We need a disney princess who’s anally double-teamed and facialized by two monstrously endowed African guys

We need a disney princess who’s into sadomasochism

We need a disney princess who’s just plain slutty as hell

…and these are just too good to leave out:



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